I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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