Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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