No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
