I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
