He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
