I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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