Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Randomize
