Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
