awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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