I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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