He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
