How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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