Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
