I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
