ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
