Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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