there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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