JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize