So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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