she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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