Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Sorry about my life...
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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