I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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