what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
