Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
