Did you just see the Batmobile???
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
