We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
