why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
