got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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