I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I want to fling myself into the sun
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm too high and old for this...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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