Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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