I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
