Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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