worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
