Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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