I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize