Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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