This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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