Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
