Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
