Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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