is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
