In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Randomize
