I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
