We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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