New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
