Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
