How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
