he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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