"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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