so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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