some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Randomize
