I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
