I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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