so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize