it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
