brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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