Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
