...so i touched it.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
