You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
