Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
