I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
