so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
