The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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