Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
