...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
