Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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