Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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