Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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