i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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