if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
