It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
