Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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